Busy with commercial work this week, I’ve not had too much time to come up for air. That said, in the downtimes, I’ve made an effort to find some time for myself at least once a day to disengage and walk around so I can keep a clear headspace. Even if I’m not managing to make it far, I’m trying to see things I’ve seen countless times with new eyes. Shoot places multiple times in different light, different parts of the day, different angles… dig a little deeper and slow down a little more to really look at things rather than merely strolling by. Finding beauty in the mundane.
The older I get, the more I feel like boredom is more and more my own fault. Focusing on the details around me and paying more attention by slowing down, I find beauty and interest in what I’ve glossed over a million times. When I first moved overseas, like many, I went through an existential crisis and had to make sense of this new reality I had chosen for myself. I wasn’t really all that happy and I couldn’t figure out what the deal was… I was living on a tropical island, I was chasing my passion of becoming a photographer, life was relatively good… on paper. What was I to be unhappy about?? But, I was often bored, I wasn’t inspired, motivation was fleeting. Something was missing. I was always thinking about what was next and it was kind of a grass is always greener type situation. Nothing was good enough. One afternoon I was complaining to a friend of mine and he casually said, “you alone are responsible for your own happiness” Cue the record skipping as I tried to make sense of this short and to the point sentiment. I’m not sure if he was saying it off the cuff, or was repeating his own personal opinion, but it’s stuck with me after all these years. That phrase can be interpreted in myriad ways, and I think about this mindset in varying ways when it comes to the different areas of my life. But as it pertains to the day to day, I often look back on this encounter and realise there are rarely times that boredom is inevitable, but rather it’s my perspective that isn’t right. Maybe I’ve needed to step back, or forward, or maybe sideways, to look at things in new light (pun intended). Maybe I needed to choose to see the beauty and appreciate my immediate surroundings. To take note of the present, appreciate the moment in time, notice my breath, feel the wind move, listen to the bugs… and more often than not, for me at least, take pictures of the little things that make up my life.
I realise I’ve written about this sentiment in the past, but I think its important to reflect back. On work, on life, on the little and the big things. In the past, while I’ve more or less felt this way in general, the execution or following through with it was often forced rather than a part of an every day routine. I’d have to remind myself to do these things and it was often after weeks of grinding out job after job and it was the eject cord to keep myself from burning out. I’d get my fix and then right back into it…and the cycle repeated…work work work, realise things were going pear shaped, stop and smell the roses, love life, and then right back into the fire… It took me far too long to understand that it wasn’t a “thing to do” to keep from burning out, but rather a way of looking at the world in general that maintains balance. Instead of always looking forward to the next big thing, finding these moments of beauty every day is tantamount to having smooth seas rather than trying to right the ship in the midst of a shit storm.
Okay, enough of all that. These were the moments, downtimes, and photographic evidence that have nothing to do with my work. Just happy snaps from the day to day.
